Getting divorced is not a license to hate, nor a free pass to let loose your lowest impulses, or give in to your darkest, angriest or even most self-critical thoughts.
When I suggest this idea to people, most agree. Sure, they were angry for a while. But now they view their divorce as a sad reality, and are turning their focus toward recreating a life they love, not stewing in anger at the wrongs of their once-spouse.
But not everyone. Some people are so steeped in anger that they do not want to let it go. Such was the case of the tall, striking woman I met at a party on Friday. “I just have a different idea of marriage,” she said. “It’s for life. It can be hard, but you still work at it. My parents have been married for 50 years. I just have a different idea of marriage than most.”